


What’s got you nervous

by TwirlsWrites



Series: Force Myself to Write [7]
Category: Royal Pains
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, also featuring: Lance the Guitar Player, ish, middle aged men talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 11:45:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6564844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwirlsWrites/pseuds/TwirlsWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hank accidentally sort of comes out. Evan accidentally sort of freaks out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What’s got you nervous

            “You are totally fine, Lance,” Hank said with a smile. “If you ask me, you should be more worried about naming your new guitar than a vitals check before your tour.”

            “Actually, I found a name - the Stethoscope,” Lance replied.

            “Nice choice,” Hank said, putting his own around his neck. “and speaking of…” he added, indicating with his hand.

            “Right,” Lance said. He straightened up and pulled his T-shirt off. “Well, you saved my life, figured I should honor you in some way.”

            “Breathe in,” Hank instructed, stethoscope at the ready. “That’s sweet Lance, but - Breathe out - seeing a patient healthy is all the honor we need.”

            “Good to know,” Lance said with a smile. Hank walked back around the gurney. “So what’s the word, Doc?”

            “You’re perfectly healthy,” Hank replied. “Heart beat’s a little bit fast but I figure you’re just nervous about the tour?”

            “Well I am nervous,” Lance admitted. “Though not about that.”

            “Oh?” Hank asked, tilting his head slightly with a smile. “What’s got you nervous then?”

            “Well Doc, I’m nervous about what will happen if I… do… this,” Lance replied slowly, voice growing softer with each word as he leaned forward and captured Hank’s lips in a kiss. Hank dropped his hands in surprise, but quickly responded - moving a hand to cup the other man’s jaw as the kiss deepened.

            “Oh— my god,” Evan’s voice broke through the pleasant fog in Hank’s brain and brought him screeching back to the present.

            He jumped back.

            “Evan!” he said.

            The two Lawsons stare at each other for a few slow-passing seconds.

            “Should I — I should go,” Lance said, standing and grabbing his shirt. “I’m going to go.”

            “That’s probably for the best Lance, yeah.” Hank said.

            “No,” Evan said, waving an arm. “Clearly I am intruding! My mistake; I was trying to go visit my brother and instead - instead - I went through the door of an alternate universe where said brother makes out with shirtless men at work!” he continued, voice growing louder and more shrill as he went.

            Lance slipped out the back door and Hank jolted himself into action, rushing over and grabbing Evan’s arms.

            “Evan. Calm down.”

            “I am calm! Why would I not be calm? It’s not like I’ve just found out my brother’s been lying to me for the past, like, four decades!” Evan exclaimed. “Oh Wait!”

            “Evan, I have not been lying to you about anything!” Hank replied.

            “You!! Shirtless man! Kissing!! You kissing a shirtless man!” Evan stuttered out, wrenching his arms from Hank’s grasp to windmill them around and pace.

            “I was not kiss— !” Hank cut himself off and looked around, lowering his voice to a hiss. “I was not kissing a shirtless man.”

            Evan scoffed, loudly.

            “My patient,” Hank emphasized, “was kissing me. Sometimes patients get overly grateful when we save their lives. It’s called Florence Nightingale Syndrome and it happens to both women and men,” he explained carefully.

            “Bullshit Henry, I saw you! You were doing that Terri Garr thing where you, like, caress their jaw!” Evan protested.

            “The what?” Hank asked, distracted.

            “You know! The suave guy from _Pretty Woman_! He does the jaw thing that you do too!” Evan said.

            “Pretty Wo— you mean Richard Gere?” Hank clarified.

            “Whatever!” Evan snapped. “Point is you were kissing back - you were kissing back!”

            “Evan —“ Hank started.

            “Liar!” Evan exclaimed.

            “Would you calm down!” Hank yelled back.

            “No!” Evan protested. “I will not calm down! In fact - you know what? You know what I’m gonna do?”

            “What?” Hank asked, rolling his eyes. “call dad?” he asked in a mocking tone.

            “I was going to say that I was going to keep yelling but maybe I _will_ call dad!” Evan said, pointing at Hank dramatically.

            Hank hated - he _hated_ \- himself for it, but he immediately moved forward and grabbed Evan’s arm. “Ev, don’t,” he said. His voice was too brittle and his face had gone to pale and there was no way Evan didn’t notice. He frowned down at Hank.

            “Hank, I’m not actually going to —“ he started, trailing off. He froze, eyes widening and eyebrows shooting up his forehead. “He knows!!” he hissed.

            “Evan — “

            “Dad… I don’t understand Hank, how could dad know you’re gay if I didn’t? Do you not trust me?” Evan demanded. Hank sighed, holding up a hand to cut off Evan’s oncoming ramble and using the other to pinch the bridge of his nose.

            “I’m not… gay, Evan,” he said haltingly.

            “Well you were doing a hell of a job pretending with shirtless dude over there,” Evan said. Hank frowned.

            “That was Lance, Evan,” he said slowly. “Remember Lance? The guitar player from Sashi’s puja? Paige’s Valentine’s party? He was just getting a check up because he’s going on a tour with Billy Joel and he’s paranoid about his health.”

            “Wha— Billy Joel? Can he get us tickets? Wait - no. Look, point is - whoever he is and whatever’s going on, how does dad factor into it?”

            “Nothing is going on, Evan - there’s no conspiracy here!” Hank exclaimed.

            He was pulled into a sudden crushing hug.

            “Evan?” He tried, voice distorted from where his face was smooshed into bright turquoise fabric. “What are you doing?”

            “This is a safe space, Henry. I want you to feel free to tell me anything,” Evan said, using that same tone of voice as when he started quoting the therapist. Hank struggled back.

            “I’m fine Evan,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

            “Hank, talk to me!” Evan exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “I mean, what the hell? You’re not gay, what, are you bi?”

            “I’m not… anything!” Hank replied, tired all of the sudden. “Just… I’ve occasionally liked to fool around with guys, okay? That’s all.”

            “Since when?” Evan demanded. “Since when have you ‘fooled around’ with guys, huh? Who was the first? Was it Ken - it was Ken, wasn’t it? Totally Ken back in high school, I —“

            “Evan! Jesus, no, it wasn’t Ken, okay?” Hank cut him off, wincing. “If you really want to know for whatever reason, the first guy I ever really ‘fooled around’ with,” oh god now he was doing the air quotes too, “was Jack.”

            “Jack?” Evan repeated, confused. “Who the hell is Ja— wait, the golf guy?” Hank sighed.

            “Yeah.”

            “The dead golf guy from like when we’d first gotten out here?” Evan clarified. Hank bit his lip, letting out a short breath from his nose.

            “Yeah,” he said, tense. “Him.”

            “Hank, that was like… five years ago,” Evan said, voice still confused.

            “Yeah, I’m aware” Hank replied slowly.

            “Hank, you were like… almost 40. How can the first time you ‘fooled around’ with a guy be in your late 30’s?”

            “When was the first time you ‘fooled around’ with a guy!” Hank exclaimed, frustrated.

            “I’m not into guys!” Evan yelled back. “But even I did a turn of spin the bottle in the frat house Henry, jesus.”

            “Whatever Evan,” Hank said, rolling his eyes.

            “Hank… what did dad _say_ to you?” Evan asked after a long pause. His voice was quiet, uncharacteristically serious which was never a good sign.

            “What?” Hank said. “What are you talking about? What about dad?”

            “You got all weird when I mentioned him! Like… like he’d already known and freaked out about it or something!” Evan said. “I watch TV, Henry!”

            “Evan,” Hank said, dragging a hand over his face. “Can you just let it go?”

            “He did freak out,” Evan said, “Didn’t he? He found out you like dudes and freaked out, didn’t he?”

            “Evan —“

            “Didn’t he, Hank?” Evan demanded.

            “It’s not why he left!” Hank yelled, surprising even himself. He took a step back. “He… I… that’s not why he left.” God, he felt like he was 12 again watching Return of the Jedi in theaters and realizing that his dad noticed how distracted he was by Luke Skywalker.

            “That’s… Hank, that’s not what I’m saying, okay?” Evan said, voice falling. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

            “I’m fine Evan,” Hank snapped. “When we were kids, dad just said some stuff that made it very clear that any… that _that_ wasn’t what was expected of us. That’s it, nothing horrible or traumatic.”

            “Sounds kind of horrible,” Evan muttered. “And your eyes are all freaky still so it kinda seems like you found it a little traumatic.”

            “It was the late 70’s Ev, early 80’s - it was just stuff people _said_ back then.”

            “It doesn’t make it okay!” Evan said.

            “Evan. I am completely and totally OK.” Hank said. Evan frowned.

            “Henry. I support you,” he said firmly. Hank sighed.

            “Oh god.”

            “I support you 100% and I love you no matter what,” Evan finished. He pulled Hank into another intense hug.

            “Please let go of me,” Hank said, voice once again muffled.

            “Okay,” Evan said, still in that odd determined tone of voice. Hank took a step back.

            “We are never talking about this again, alright?” he said.

            “But —“

            “Never!” Hank repeated.

            “Well if this is it then I have more questions!” Evan whined. “Why Jack? Was it because he was a golfer? Wasn’t he into Jill - oh my god, did you score a threesome with Jill? Ah! Have you ever had a threesome with Boris and Marisa? Or just Boris? Hank have you ever made out with Boris?”

            “I’m leaving,” Hank said firmly. He grabbed his medical bag and walked out the door, even as Evan continued talking.

**Author's Note:**

> I always thought the first royal pains fic i'd write would be 'five times boris and marisa tried to get hank to join them and one time he realized what they were doing' but HERE WE ARE.


End file.
